You're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat

I've shared before about my love for all things coupons. The thrill of getting 50 cents off a can of green beans is almost like winning lotto. Almost.

I mean you don't have reporters surrounding you when you luck upon a box of spaghetti on sale with BOGO coupon. And you don't get a large cardboard receipt instead of a large cardboard check when saltines go on clearance.

Nevertheless, you add into the mix, a coupon for wedding stuff? It can send me into a slight tizzy. For instance:

A few weeks ago I had some coupons for those clicking candle lighter thingies. And the bride and I went to our local big box discount store to do some shopping and we decided to pick the lighters up. But (gasp) the big box discount store didn't have the brand we were looking for but as luck would have it, a store clerk mentioned that the dollar store down the street happened to carry those lighters.

And they were on sale.

As quickly as she said "on sale", something happened to me. I fell into a shark feeding frenzy mode. You know those videos of sharks, eating big chunks of fish, black eyes rolling back into their heads, jaws chomping down frantically on their prey?

Yeah, that was me in the middle hardware section at the big box discount store.

I grabbed all the the coupons I had in my bag, shoved them towards the bride and said, (normal voice...) "Ok, go over there and (voice starting to get a little louder...) Grab All The Clicky Candle (voice starting to get a touch shrill...) Lighter Thingies (and now I'm yelling...)YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS ON! QUICK!!!"

I must have been flashing back to the one and only time I waited outside in the freezing cold, in line overnight, to get into the big box discount store the day after Thanksgiving. I guess I was afraid I would be be trampled by the stampede of all the other crazed mothers of the brides, all wanting the same coveted clicking candle lighter thingies.

Of course I was the only person in the store looking for them.

I sent the bride over to the dollar store to get them and stayed in the big box discount store, picking up a few groceries as I waited. After about 20 minutes, the bride found me on the bread aisle. She was empty handed, except for the half dozen coupons I had so brutally shoved into her sweet hands.

Sighing and shaking her pretty brunette head, she gently handed me back the clicking candle lighter thingies coupons.

I forgot to give her some money.

The Wedding Gown - Round Three

We went back out on Saturday...another town, another store (actually two stores)...and no dress.

On our ride home, I was starting to feel discouraged and so was the bride. Dress after dress, looking online and in stores, with close to 20 different gowns put on and taken off, our options were starting to look dim and dire.

But then suddenly last night, poking around online, I found it...this could be "the one"...

The latest couture wedding gown, fresh from the runways in Paris...made entirely out of toilet paper.

And I've got coupons!

Couponing Through The Tulips

My love for coupons has wiggled it's way into the planning of the wedding.

Oh you haven't heard? Why yes, I'm the gal in line ahead of you, the one who has 32 boxes of cereal and a stack of coupons to match. The gal who has a buy one, get one free coupon for 86 cans of cat food...and doesn't own a cat.

(just kidding...I'm not really "extreme"...but I do have 12 bottles of BBQ sauce and 8 jars of mayo at home)

My problem is sometimes my love of coupons blinds me. Sometimes all I see is the savings, and not the item itself that I'm considering purchasing. And that can cause conflict between me and the bride. Case in point:

Me: Kaitlin, look at these! Pink boas! Oooo...and they're on sale! And I've got a...hold on a minute...(as I begin digging to bottom of my bag)...found it! I've got a 40% off coupon! It expires in 3 minutes but if we hurry and run across the store to the checkout line we can still use it! Oooo...what do you think? Wouldn't these be perfect for the bridesmaids?

Kaitlin: Ummm, no mom, I don't think pink boas would look good.

Me: But they're on sale AND I have a coupon! (the holy grail of couponing)

Kaitlin: Well, I really don't think pink boas are a good idea, even if they are on sale (she is her father's child...level headed and sane).

Me: *sighing* alright, I guess we'll pass...Oooo, (seeing something shiny out of the corner of my eye) what's that? Gold patent leather purses on the clearance rack! And I think the 40% coupon would work! Oooo, wouldn't those be perfect for..."

Kaitlin: *sighing* let's go mom (leading me by the arm out of the clearance aisle)

Now if I can only find a coupon for their honeymoon...