Do They Make Wedding Crocs?

Now that the bride has her dress (I'm still pinching myself, just to make sure that it's been purchased and ordered...I've been repeating "it's not a dream, it really happened, they took the check" over and over since last night) we've begun thinking about what we should accomplish next...a new goal...

And that new goal would be shoes.

The bride is a statuesque young lady (at 5'11) and she's never felt comfortable in heels. So she's been considering wearing a shoe in a very low heel or possibly even flats on their wedding day. But whatever shoes she decides on, one thing is for sure...they have to be comfortable.

Because the last thing she wants to be doing on their wedding day is the old lady shuffle. There's enough of that going on around our house when I get up in the morning.

As we've begun talking a little bit about shoes in the last day or two, (I never thought I'd be having a serious conversation around the dinner table in which the discussion starts with, "I was thinking about shoes the other day.") I've started to get a funny feeling that hunt for the right shoes may be as intense as the wedding gown search.

While we were at the bridal store, as the bride (still clipped into her new wedding gown) was taking her eighth "Yay!-I-finally-found-it!" victory lap around the store, I took a peek at the store's selection of bridal shoes.

White shoe after white shoe in every style possible. Heels, flats, stilettos, platforms, pumps, sandals, skimmers, mules, slippers...even athletic shoes with pretty bows and bling. I started to get a little dizzy as I was standing there in front of the wall of shoes. Kinda like I was in a game of Ring-around-the-Rosy. And then this thought crossed my mind,

"I wonder if she'd be willing to go barefoot?"

Let the shoe hunt begin!

Late Breaking News! She Found "The One!"

*cue the theme music from "Rocky"*

This afternoon the bride and I ventured back into the big city, back to the first store, back to the first salesgirl...

and found "the one".


The elusive one, the one that's been hidden in between the silver racks, the one that's been lurking among the reeds, the one that's been taunting us from the dense grove of trees, the one that...yea, ok I know, enough already...yep, we found the bride's wedding gown!

It's perfect for her. And yet not at all what I thought she would like in a wedding gown. Makes sense huh?

We went to the store armed with a short list of dresses she found online, pulled four off the rack and never got to the last one. Lucky number three was it. She tried it on and suddenly there it was. The Look. She hadn't had that look before with any of the other gowns. And then I couldn't get her out of it to go home.

After walking around the store with the gown on for about a half hour, I finally got her to give the gown back by promising to take her to Mickey D's for an ice cream cone. That usually works with Kaitlin. Not so much with Taryn. With Taryn, it usually takes cash.

So...after a few weeks of searching and stressing...

We have a wedding gown. 

We have a veil. 

We have a crinoline. 

We have a sash.

We have a necklace.

We have to tell her father how much it all cost.

The Wedding Gown - Round Three

We went back out on Saturday...another town, another store (actually two stores)...and no dress.

On our ride home, I was starting to feel discouraged and so was the bride. Dress after dress, looking online and in stores, with close to 20 different gowns put on and taken off, our options were starting to look dim and dire.

But then suddenly last night, poking around online, I found it...this could be "the one"...

The latest couture wedding gown, fresh from the runways in Paris...made entirely out of toilet paper.

And I've got coupons!

Bouquets & Rice: Week 2 - The Rocky Edition

Some odds and ends from this week...

We're going back out there. Come sundown tonight it begins again. We're not gonna let it beat us. We're taking it to the mat. We've been in training all week long. We've been running, done hundreds of push-ups and sit-ups, punched slabs of frozen beef, drank dozens of raw eggs and have listened to the "Rocky" theme song over and over and over again...

...all in preparation for the big day.

We're going wedding gown shopping on Saturday...again.

 Yo, Kaaaiiitttllliinnn!

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Well, my plan to eat only foods that begin with the letter "R" didn't work out too well this past week.

Who would of thought only eating Rice Krispie treats, Ricotta cheese, Red Jolly Ranchers and Rocky (there he is again) Road ice cream all week would actually make you gain weight. And on top of it, we've been training all week to go shopping (see above).

Maybe I'll give the letter "Q" a try.
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Besides inheriting her father's level-headedness, love of list-making and general practicality, another gift the bride has inherited from her father is motion sickness. Yes, that happiest of all travel ailments affects two of our family members severely. Neither one of them can read in a moving vehicle, ride in a back seat or sit on a boat for more than 17 seconds without getting ill.

It's made some of our family vacations a real treat.

And since the happy couple are still discussing their options for the honeymoon, that means going on a cruise is out.

Sometimes boats can be a little rocky (I know, stretching the "Rocky" reference a little thin here) and even the big cruise ships will sway from time to time. And I have a feeling that the groom would rather not spend their honeymoon holding back his new wife's hair while she's "indisposed".

So no cruise for the happy couple. Maybe a train trip to the Rocky Mountains would be fun (ok, starting to get a little desperate with the "Rocky" references now).
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One way I deal with the stresses of planning a wedding is by escaping to our sunroom, turning on the Netflix and watching an episode or two of my favorite cartoon from childhood, "Rocky & Bullwinkle" (really!)

and so I leave you with one of my favorite quotes from the squirrel and the moose from Frostbite Falls, Minnesota...

Rocky: Well, they don't call him Wrongway Peachfuzz for nothing!

Bullwinkle: You mean they gotta pay?

The Wedding Gown - Round Two

We went wedding gown shopping again...and this time we went to an actual store.

*sigh*

We made the appointment, drove into the big city, met with the consultant and then Taryn and I sat down in front of the mirrored dressing rooms for the try-on's.

And try-on's did we ever.

Not only did the bride try on multiple dresses, but throw in cathedral length veils, finger-tip length veils, veil caps, feathered hair clips, beaded headbands, fake diamond necklaces, fake pearl necklaces, heels, flats...good grief, I'm sweatin' just typing it.

And so after two hours, one box of tissues, three bottles of water, six dresses and multiple accessories we walked out of the store...dressless.

I'm starting to wonder if finding "The One" is sorta like those hunters and fishermen that tell you stories about the deer or fish that have always alluded them. That mystical 12 point buck that great-grandpa told stories about, roaming the forest, always staying just out of sight of the hunter. Or that 18 pound bass that swims in and out of the reeds, the one nicknamed "Bubba", that steals your bait but is never hooked.

But then again I'm sure "The One" is out there. Our very own "Bubba" is somewhere out there, lurking among the racks and racks of lace. And we'll keep hunting until we find it. Just as long as I don't have to do this:

Shopping for wedding gowns is not for the faint of heart...

Bouquets & Rice: Week 1 - The Odds And Ends Of Planning A Wedding

Some odds and ends from this week...

Well, there's no turning back now. It's official. Forget about getting the deposit back on the reception hall. And it's all because of three little paragraphs and a black & white photo.

The happy couple's engagement announcement came out in the local newspaper this week!
(thanks again Lindsey and Deidra!)

Living in a small town, word gets around pretty quick so most of our friends knew about the happy couple's announcement before it hit newsprint (and having multiply Facebook pages within the family doesn't keep things quiet for too long either) but as I was looking over the announcement I realized we'd forgotten to tell someone. And then the phone rang.

Yep, that was a fun conversation. :)
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Mark's role within all the wedding planning hoopla has been pretty minimal. And of course he likes it that way. But every so often he'll casually mention a suggestion that he has given some thought too (usually he prints out his suggestions and collates them for us...yeah, he's that guy) and this week he had two. And they were both about the wedding gown. (no, we didn't change our minds about the Kardashian dress)

Mark's suggestions about the wedding gown were the following:

1. Why don't we try to find a wedding gown at Goodwill?
2. Why don't we try to find a wedding gown at the flea market?

After the first suggestion, Kaitlin looked over at me and I shook my head "no" ever-so-slightly. After the second suggestion, Kaitlin looked over at me and I began hitting my head repeatedly on the coffee table. Surprisingly he didn't have much to say after that.
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In the quest to lose 782 pounds in the 6 months before the wedding, I have begun to consider some alternative methods of weight loss...and this week I came up with this plan...

I'm going to only eat foods that begin with the letter "R"--

foods such as Rice, Radishes,...Reese's peanut butter cups, Red velvet cake, my friend Mary's Really good chicken & dumplings...
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We're going wedding gown shopping this weekend...*insert-mother-realizing-daughter-is-really-getting-married-sigh-here* sniff, sniff

The Wedding Gown - Round One

Last week we went wedding gown shopping. We looked at what seemed like dozens and dozens of gowns until Kaitlin found one that was just perfect and decided to buy it. It was, after all, "The One".

Now shopping for wedding gowns, as most people know, is a time honored tradition that for decades, mothers and daughters have shared together. Precious memories made among the white satin, the lace, the beading, the exuberant salesgirl...and for us, the tradition included one extra special memory...

The computer.

Yes, she bought her wedding gown online. And I was an accessory.

Someone had gotten word to us that the local bridal shop was having a huge sale. Giant. Big. Ginormous. And what better way to check out a great sale then by going online and seeing what's what. So that's exactly how we spent her lunch hour last Tuesday. Perusing gowns in front of the laptop.

And then she found it.

"The One".

And it was on sale. Big time.

And I had a promotional code for an additional 10% off. (I'm feeling a little faint just typing it)

Giddy with the glow of  I-can't-believe-we-just-bought-your-wedding-gown-for-$...we naturally began bragging telling anyone and everyone we could think of the unbelievable deal we got on the gown.

I think I might have even dialed our bug man and told him.

A week passed and then this afternoon a big, pretty white box arrived at our doorstep. Tissue paper and ribbon, white satin and ruching, a delicate flower applique...and then she tried it on.

In the midst of zipping her into the gown, suddenly the words "looks like something a Kardashian sister would wear" were uttered by someone in the room. Now I'm not quite sure who exactly said them, but since it was only me, Kaitlin and her sister Taryn in the room at the time, I'm guessing one of us has seen one too many tabloid magazine covers at the grocery store lately.

Back into the box in went. "The One" turned out to be a dud. Our deal of the decade was a lemon, leaving a sour taste in our mouths. But on the bright side, the huge sale isn't over yet and we have an appointment with a real live exuberant salesgirl next week.

I'm just hoping she'll take my other promotional code.