The Vegetable Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken

My daughter has been engaged for about 6 1/2 minutes and we've already had our first fight disagreement.

Over green beans.

For the record, let's just go ahead and get who wants green beans and who doesn't want green beans out there in the open.

I'm pro-bean. She's anti-bean. (and if you ask me, it's just plain un-American to be anti-bean.)

Now we're not talking your run-of-the-mill green beans. We're talking about Italian Green Beans. Those big, flat, green beauties that we consume by the gallon around here at Sunday Dinner (we live in the South, and in order to do so, it's required that we eat a huge, fat-filled, butter-coated, artery-hardening meal after church every Sunday, hence Sunday Dinner). Needless to say, I'm a big fan of Italian Green Beans. Easy to make. Easy to eat. Just. About. Perfect.

And to hear my daughter say that she absolutely does not want Italian Green Beans served at her wedding is heart-breaking. Just heart-breaking.

It all started innocently enough. We were sitting around the kitchen table the other day and the discussion turned to the menu at the reception. Now granted we won't be nailing down a menu for a few months, but hey, we need to get a general idea about what we're serving. And since we're having an Italian-themed wedding I assumed that Italian Green Beans would be included.

Umm, not so fast.

The words "...and what about Italian Green Beans" were still hanging in the air, like a cartoon word bubble when I was quickly informed that there would be no Italian Green Beans served at the reception. I looked to the groom for some kind of back-up, a little support, a slight nod of the head, as if to say, "Don't worry future mother-in-law, I'll make sure Italian Green Beans are on the menu!".

Nope. Didn't happen. He was no help. (and now that I've had some time to ponder it, I'm beginning to think he may be anti-bean too...un-American I tell you!)

At this point, the hairs on the back of my neck were starting to rise up and my face began to get flush. No Italian Green Beans at the reception? How could they do this to me? What would everyone think? I could hear the whispers at the reception months from now...

 "Why aren't they serving  Italian Green Beans? I thought this was supposed to be an Italian wedding? I can't eat my chicken parmesan without Italian Green Beans! Where are the BEANS???"

The room began to swirl and get dark. When I came too, I was on the floor, with my loved ones standing over me, a look of great concern sweeping over their faces, including the bride and groom.

"Mom, are you ok?" Kaitlin asked as she knelt down and cradled my head. "Yes" I whispered in a weak, small voice, "yes, yes I will be...as long as we have Italian Green Beans at the reception."

Nope. Didn't work. She didn't take the bait.

So we will be having a bean-less menu at the reception. And I think I can live with that. Of course there's always the chance that a can or two might show up. She'll be too busy to check my purse.